as much as i love the city, theres just something about being able to look into the sky at night without having office buildings or apartments frame your vision. no light pollution. no honking horns. just a serene night sky lit by the moon and billions of stars. as cheesy as it sounds, breathing in a breath of fresh air on a crisp night like this where all you can smell is the perfect concoction of fresh grass and the cold air wipes all my problems, fears, and doubts away… well not away… but to the side at least :) momentary relief from my constant worrying
saying goodbye is something that i really REALLY dont like doing. but ever since a few years ago, saying goodbye has become something that i MUST do when i know im not seeing someone for a certain period of time, whether it may be for a few hours, days, weeks, or months.
my mom gave away my dog today :( because none of us have anyway of caring for her, we gave her to this other family who i dont even know. and to top it off, they might not even give her back if they feel too attached to her in a year. not to be negative but honestly… they are going to love her and want to keep her. it makes me happy that my dog can be loved by so many people. but it makes me really sad that i can’t see her anymore. gah… gonna start crying again.
i’m literally crying every day now. just cause i’m leaving and i’m saying goodbyes and stuff. gahh im such weak sauce lol. i dunno if i’ll come back next year though. i just know that i’ll start missing korea as soon as i land in LA but i want next summer to be 10 times more productive than this summer was. hopefully trips to barcelona, madrid, other european cities, and manila will happen and i’ll probably end up taking summer classes. ………..i’m crying again LOLLL what is wrong with meee. i NEVER cried my entire freshman year and now my body is trying to make up for it or something -___-
1) when people start to tell a story and then stop…
2) when i need to go somewhere but slow walking couples are blocking the way. happens EVERYWHERE
3) smokers walking in front of me. who decide to walk in a zigzag so that their smoke goes EVERYWHERE…gahhhh…
4) when PEOPLE CANT DECIDE WHAT TO DO. omgg…just GO and walk around your park, mall, neighborhood. trust me, you’ll have so much more fun doing something spontaneous and going somewhere random than trying to think of the “perfect” thing to do….but i guess you kind of need someone to do all that with to really have fun :/ TEARR
cant think of anything else right now that really really bothers me :) i guess thats good.
I’m gonna cheat the system hehe. These are three things I want to say to different people, many different people :)
1) I love that we don’t need to do anything special to have fun. We don’t need alcohol or even go on trips or spend a lot of money to have fun. I think some of my best memories are from when we were just simply together. I can talk to you guys about absolutely anything and I’d still end up laughing my face off at some point. let’s stay this way even when we’re old :)
2) for some reason I’ve been hearing stuff like this A LOT from random places. and because I think it’s too cheesy to say in person I’ll just say it here lol. Every relationship is worth having, even ones that dont work out the way we want them to. Even if it ends up hurting later, you’ll still be left with wonderful memories and because of that experience you’ll know yourself more than u did before. So when the chance comes don’t run away, worry about the future and what ifs, or freak about the “expiration” date. Just hold tight, run with it, and treasure it. Ahaha so corny… but sometimes corny advice is the best :)
3) GOOD LUCK THIS YEAR TO ALL MY FRIENDS AROUND THE WORLD BECOMING SOPHOMORES IN COLLEGE! I hope you guys all LOVED ur first year and that ur as pumped as I am for the next few years ahead of us. Make use of every day cuz they say the older you get the faster the year flies by :(
and it sucks that i’m going to school for 5 of those days -_______-…but its okay!
GOAL: make every freaking moment of these next 10 days productive. you can sleep on the plane (am i becoming stupid or did i not spell that wrong…it looks so weird) back to LA.
things you can do:
banyan tree yeee yeee
shopping at dongdaemun/myungdong for cheap and unfobby clothes
buy…presents :) hehe
visit high school
spend lots of time talking to my dad who i wont be able to see for a few months
hang out with my cousins/grandparents
sleepover friends houses and NOT become lazy or eat ramyun at 2am
STUDY stats/econ/spanish…gross. but very necessary
start arranging…garhhhh…i’m the worst
WORK OUT! lost 2kg. time to lose the rest before going back to phatland
eat LOTS good food (for lunch!)..such as GANGA, KBBQ x infinity, BRASILIA, 떡볶이, LEGIT JAPANESE FOOD, MOVING SUSHI, AND OTHER AMAZING KOREAN FOODS!!!
PLAY WITH FRIENDS PLAY WITH FRIENDS PLAY WITH FRIENDS LIKE NO OTHER :) :) :)
what would happen if everyone in the world jumped at exactly the same time? hmm..
the fact the first question even exists scares me… yes i read.
fav books…it used to be anything with dragons & magic & adventure. dealing with dragons, harry potter series (proud owner of all the books LOL), the golden compass, the eragon series… strangely i never caught on to the chronicles of narnia
i still have a really hard time reading non-fiction unless its a good adventure story OR its one of malcolm gladwell’s books :) some of my more recent favs have been: the 5 people you meet in heaven, a walk to remember, blink (finally finished it sitting at the back of a bookstore hehe), the alchemist, the life of pi, the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime… i think i’ve cried reading all of these books. except for blink lol
books i want to read/finish: the tipping point, the irresistible revolution, & the lucifer effect, freakonomics, mere christianity :D
i dont think ive ever cried so much watching a movie that wasnt a war movie. but sunny was so goooooooodddd…
that movie included, so many events this summer have been so blatantly pointing to a message that i think i’ve been missing for a while. lately i’ve been feeling so stressed about “the future” and my major and what i’m gonna be and all that stuff. and everytime i talk about it with my parents it doesnt turn out well. just a lot of shouting and stuff :( and when i just go over the options in my head, i just get really annoyed and frustrated, leaving me more confused than i was before. seeing how fast my first year of college went i kept feeling pressured to figure out my life before it was “too late”. found myself being filled with regret for not playing as much as i could before college.
but watching sunny with my best friends, hanging out with my 7공주s like how we usually hang out, and just reverting back into a kid having sleepovers with my childhood friends has been helping me realize that no matter how much we try to plan it and rattle our brains to make our “best” future come true, in the end life wont turn out how we plan it anyway. so theres really no point in worrying ourselves to death. not saying that we dont need to be responsible with our lives. just that we dont have to think that because we’re adults that we have to have everything figured out and live exactly as the cookie cutter lifestyle demands. as we get older we should have more fun, and be more spontaneous, go on more adventures, and take more risks. i mean, what’s wrong with living our fleeting lives to the fullest right? :)
“Oh you know, just drinking a cup of milk every night before bed.”
uhhhh yeah. this doesnt happen to me anymore :( they only say “dont stand next to your cousins cuz you’ll look shorter than you already are” -__________-