its always been hard for me to become close with girls. i dunno why :/ the talks ive had with guys have always been more interesting and helpful. i guess its also cuz i get annoyed at small talk real fast, and girls tend to be really good at just doing that for hours and hours. but recently ive been having AMAZING talks with sisters from kcm and from the girls in RV. and through these talks not only do i gain a better appreciation for girls, but i also come to value myself more and more.
that sounds horribly selfish but its really been great for me. in the past few years, my self esteem has been…well nothing much. i always find myself saying sorry for just about everything, blaming things on myself so that others wouldn’t be hurt. but also i wouldnt speak up when i felt uncomfortable or get mad when i was actually the victim. and i STILL have a lot of trouble with these things…
but talking to these girls is really starting to “heal me”, as lame as that sounds. we’ve all been hurt, made to feel inferior, unworthy, useless, and unwanted. as if WE were the problem to all the things happening to us. but that is SO not true… and i cannot be MORE grateful that these girls have been so perfectly placed in my life at this time :)
ps. also wicked was SO amazing. fejiwaasdlfj how one could so intricately come up with a story that was original yet had all aspects of the wizard of oz in it is absolutely baffling!
pps. i now understand why teachers were so adamant about keeping PDA out of schools. its everywhere on campus. and its grossing me out cuz i keep running into awkward situations. and just cuz its gross. YOU ARE GOING TO SEE EACH OTHER IN AN HOUR. YOU DONT NEED TO MAKE OUT IN FRONT OF THE LECTURE ROOM DOOR >:(